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I joined the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom recently. National Coalition for Sexual Freedom I have been told on several occasions that my eyes get all dark and psychotic when I get in your face and make you gasp and scream in pain. And should tears well in your eyes, my eyes are right there looking straight into your soul. That is me. That’s what I do. That’s how I express affection and that’s how I revel in the incredible beauty that your emotions are to me. The darkness in my eyes is not of malice; it is rooted in an almost desperate longing to wrap your soul around me and to dive into your heart and never emerge. There is nothing more beautiful to me than when you release every thought in your head and crumble to the floor and cry for me. At those moments I am filled with an immense gratitude for being exactly what I am. I am a sadist. But no matter how psychotic my eyes become when your emotions blossom in my grip and spread your wings, I am not. There is nothing wrong with me. In fact, there is something right with me. I see beauty and poetry everywhere and even though you will ache for days and sometimes for weeks after I make love to you, it does not impede my life or my social interactions and it does not make me a less productive member of society. Admitting to myself and to the world what I am was not the downfall of me. It was me finally claiming my birthright to simply be I am a sadist and I’m not fucked up because of it. I was fucked up before, when I donned social masks and shut down my emotions to shoehorn myself into what I thought was the proper and moral way to exist. And still, in today’s society, the DSM-TR-IV is used to “diagnose” and pathologize people who have found themselves and truth and love and trust and intimacy in BDSM. Read about the effort to remove consensual adult sexual expression as a psychological disorder from the next revision of DSM: Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis. Come join me at the NCSF.

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4 Responses to My Eyes May Be Psychotic, But I’m Not

  1. I’m so thankful to everyone who fought for “kinky” to be removed from the DSM-V. I believe sexuality is an expression of individuality and creativity, a personal embodiment of who we are and who we are becoming. It’s something that we should have a right to express without being labeled as crazy for it (as long as we don’t harm others in the process). (Self-harm is a long discussion for another time.)

  2. GentleSpirit says:

    I love the way you write Dreamwalker. How nice it is to see your writing featured here. I agree it is unfortunate that having the ability to remove your walls, to offer yourself wholly and completely to another in an act of pure love or to take what is being offered to you and accepting that love is considered a disorder. Well, certify me then because I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  3. Ahhh yes, and a Goddess to those that so deeply need your form of passion and compassion. The Yang to the pain- seeking Yin. No, being pure and true to your nature is the most sane thing a person can do. .-= Aurora Dominiqua´s last blog ..My Eyes May Be Psychotic, But I’m Not =-.

  4. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mistress Arabella, Dreamwalker. Dreamwalker said: RT @AskArabella My Eyes May Be Psychotic, But I’m Not [...]

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