Mutual masturbation is a splendid weapon in your relationship building toolbox because the Golden Rule “Do unto others…” does not always apply, believe it or not.
What do I mean by mutual masturbation?
I use this term to describe individual stimulation in the presence of others.
The specific purpose of this post is to explain why masturbating with your partner can build intimacy and help everyone get what they want from the relationship.
Communication is my number one rule for any relationship, and for this activity to be successful both partners must understand what they want to get out of the experience. In my experience the best way to avoid confusion is to TALK TO EACH OTHER! It’s a crazy idea, but mouths are useful for things other than kissing (no matter the body part). If you cannot talk to your partner, or communicate in some way, you will probably never enjoy being together anyway.
One objective of mutual masturbation is to show your partner what you enjoy for yourself (and what you don’t enjoy). It gives you the when, where, how fast and hard you like it. This is good because you can walk your partner through how you get your jollies and they can do the same for you. You can explain your specific anatomy so as to avoid mood killers like tender areas and any areas you wish to be left alone.
Another thing to keep in mind with mutual masturbation is that it requires a large amount of trust. I find this to be the most important goal. If you get comfortable with your partner’s body, you can give them what they want. You have to give to receive, and this goes for knowledge also. The more information the better.
Feel free to have your partner touch you with your explicit guidance. Play a erotic version of Follow The Leader, if you will. Try to not be too serious about this and you will enjoy yourselves even more! It is entirely possible that neither partner will cum or orgasm, but it does not mean you are doing something wrong. This just means you are concentrating on learning.
After you learn some points of interest try them out… Just follow your bliss (and your partner’s). After all, you probably share mutual bliss.
Talk amongst yourselves… or masturbate amongst yourselves.
Or better yet, both!
Doctoris O. Lectus
Some quick basics to be updated later. I identify as gender fluid and queer. Anything is possible with varying levels of probability. I am a participant in a d/s relationship as a pet. I also have tendencies toward being a nudist. I am college educated seeking a masters degree. I have particular interest in auto-eroticism and BDSM, however any experience is of interest to me. Stay tuned...
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4 Responses to The Discrete Charm of You & Me: Mutual Masturbation
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Mutual masturbation can be fun, but I enjoy it more as an occasional novelty than a substitute for real sex when I am with a familiar lover. It is helpful to watch a new lover masturbate while I'm in the getting to know her stage, but it's very hard not to join in after a while.
I agree about that hard-not-to-join-in part! I love watching a lover of mine pleasure her or himself, though. There's something about the combination of auto-eroticism and voyeurism that is just explosive to me… for me!
I also love mutual masturbation where new threesomes, foursomes or moresomes are concerned. It's a great way to get acquainted before pouncing!
Bella xxo
My recent post Cunning Linguists Are We- Cunnilingus 101
My wife Marilyn and I actually just had our first real mutual masturbation session…I don’t know how we went so long without, maybe just always preferred the touch of each other to our own. But lying in bed, getting ourselves off, it was a fascinating connection that was far more powerful than we could’ve imagined.
Cooper´s last [type] ..Greetings From the Deep End!
Cooper´s last [type] ..Greetings From the Deep End!
Cooper, I think mutual masturbation is just one of those activities that is commonly overlooked. And since masturbation gets such a bad rap from society and religion and whatnot, mutual masturbation must be doubly bad! Or something! *laughs* At least, I think that may be the general attitude… Also, plenty of us are self-conscious. I think about the "only with the lights off" stereotype, and mutual masturbation puts A LOT more attention (and the spotlight) on all parties involved. So happy to hear that you & Marilyn enjoyed yourselves, though!
Bella xxo
My recent post Cunning Linguists Are We- Cunnilingus 101