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Cancer: New things are headed your way. Be on the lookout for new opportunities. Perhaps a new play partner or new whip is in order… Leo: Quit spinning your wheels, there’s 50 ways to leave your lover. Now shut up and pick one. The [...]" />

AstroSlut: Horoscopes for a Dirty World!

Cancer: New things are headed your way. Be on the lookout for new opportunities. Perhaps a new play partner or new whip is in order… Leo: Quit spinning your wheels, there’s 50 ways to leave your lover. Now shut up and pick one. The only thing worse than the road not taken is standing at the fork doing nothing. Virgo: You and your Leo buddy are in the state of sameness. You’re refusing to go forward and play with new toys. Just because you’ve been burned before doesn’t mean you will always. Libra: Libra, you’re an unusually friendly person. Perhaps, too friendly. Some might even call you a slut. That aside, new friends and the potential for travel are coming your way. Scorpio: Things are tough, and you’re dealing with some tough people. Don’t sink down to their level… Keep that stinger in check! Sagittarius: Is there someone you need to call? You should probably do that. She’s waiting for you as we speak. If you’re that someone, why don’t you reach out first? Aquarius: Have a friend that needs to move this weekend? Maybe it’s time to help them instead of going out to the club. It’ll be a more enriching experience than grinding against some drunken skanks. Capricorn: The Clash broke down the classic quandry, but never answered the question. When it comes to whether you should stay or go, you should stay this week. Look before you leap, & hold off on any big changes. Pisces: That thing you’ve been working on? You know the thing. Anyways, if it isn’t done, it will be soon. Be proud of the work you’ve done. Aries: Choices, choices, choices! Blonde, redhead, or both? Whatever you choose, it will be for the best. Taurus: All that hard work is finally paying off. You know what they say: Work Hard, Play Harder. Gemini: Now’s the time to make the grab for the thing that’s been catching your eye. Be it something at the store, or someone at the bar…

About The Author

Lola Batling

Lola Batling is an astrologer, smutpeddler and sexy witch from NYC. Her spirit animal is the meerkat. She does porn and reads tarot.

4 Responses to AstroSlut: June 30th – July 6th

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