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Cancer: It’s time to get what you want out of life. Fixate on that goal, and make it happen. You can do it.

Leo: You might be remembering something that happened in the distant past or just last weekend. [...]" />

AstroSlut: Horoscopes for a Dirty World

Cancer: It’s time to get what you want out of life. Fixate on that goal, and make it happen. You can do it.

Leo: You might be remembering something that happened in the distant past or just last weekend. Enjoy the memory without dwelling on what might have been.

Virgo: Somebody’s got it baaaaaad. Whether you this person just came into your life, or they’re your long-time sweetheart, take the time to make them feel as special as they make you feel.

Libra: Things start over again. What’s old is new and what’s new is even newer. Expect the return of someone unexpected.

Scorpio: Don’t expect that slacker you know to pick up his or her end of the deal. It’s up to you as usual, but it’ll work out in the end this time around.

Sagittarius: Use that happy, feel-good energy to fuel that creative endeavor you’ve been working on or meaning to start.

Aquarius: This is the week to get that relationship of yours to the next level. Even if it means just mustering the courage to ask that special someone out.

Capricorn: You may feel like the world is looking at you all this week. They are, but you look like a million bucks.

Pisces: Lucky fish! New relationships are just on the other side of the bank. Swim on over.

Aries: You’re going to get what’s coming to you. Hopefully, you’ve been a good little ram.

Taurus: Sometimes your hard work just doesn’t pay off. Take a step back and evaluate what’s not working before giving it another go.

Gemini: Enough is enough this week. Take a minute, unwind from the excess, and give yourself a chance to breathe. Upon return, you’ll enjoy it more.

About The Author

Lola Batling

Lola Batling is an astrologer, smutpeddler and sexy witch from NYC. Her spirit animal is the meerkat. She does porn and reads tarot.

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