Sex Appeal. And Plenty of It.

You are one of the hottest sex toys in my collection, and for that alone, you will always be at the top of the box, if I can ever get you out of my hot little hands (and holes).

You are sleek. Clean lines and seamless design in effin’ hot pink. You’re about 7″ long and 1.5″ wide (at your widest point). I feel like you’ve come out of an Andy Warhol fantasy or a surrealist painting. When I look at you I squeal. Banana! I think.

But you’re not yellow. And you are a mindfuck. And I love that about you. It makes me want to fuck you and be fucked by you. to experience the throes of orgasmic bliss at your bidding.

I squirted again and again. And again. You reminded me to warn people about the dangers of going catatonic from cumming too much. (And babe, it’s been a while since I was reminded about that one.)For you to be inside of me, my wetness is more than sufficient lubrication. You glide into me like a dream, and your curves hug my curves and you are arced to put the perfect amount of pressure right on my g-spot. I feel like you were built for fucking. A goddamn banana! Who knew?

With your accompanying bullet vibe in the ON position, you make me shudder and shake and cum and giggle. You are a vibrating hot pink silicone banana.

After a while, my pussy consumed you.

And then my poor ass got jealous. I threw my beloved Hitachi Magic Wand on my clit, and you teased my ass with your vibration before plunging deep, deep inside, and the curvature of you was like nothing else, and you are a perfect fuck. And I mean perfect.

I’ve affectionately called you The Shaking Fruit™, especially when used in combination with the Ass Berries Raspberry. I found out that you became friends with the Bum Rush Rascal when she joined the toybox. And that you also fit wonderfully next to the bananas in my fruit bowl. (Aren’t you happy that I washed you first in the dishwasher, so you were squeaky-clean and all yummy before you met them? Me too!)

I love that you’re so low-maintenance. Body friendly, pthalates-free, hypoallergenic, and I can wash you with soap & warm water, take you in the bathtub or shower to play (you are exquisitely waterproof!), santize you in boiling water or with a 10% bleach solution, or by tossing you in the dishwasher for fast and easy clean-up.

Condoms slide over you like they were made for you, and I have flashes to people all over the globe practicing putting condoms on bananas, wishing that they were all hot pink and as sexy as you. I love that you’re clean. I love that you fuck me hard. As hard as I want. (Or as gently as I want.) And that you don’t need any time to recooperate or recover. You’re always ready to go at it, baby.

And hell, with a body as hot as yours, I can’t blame you!

Oh yeah… and when you and I were still in the introductory stages of our relationship, I got hit in the head with a banana. A real banana. (Not to say that you’re not “real,” my dearest…) A Chiquita.

The tossee laughed it off, said the reason that I couldn’t catch it was because it wasn’t hot pink silicone like you, my love. (Though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, I think there’s a lot of truth to that.)

I want to catch you and be caught by you. I just want you. Period.

P.s. A huge thanks to Babeland for introducing us! Want your own Sex A-Peel? Need some Shaking Fruit™ to add to your bowl? Get your own here! You know you want it…

P.p.s. Just remember that it takes three watch batteries, and it doesn’t hurt to have some extra on-hand for the vibrating bullet. Get those here.

Since this banana by Love to Love is silicone, use it with your favorite water-based lube. Avoid silicone lube, please!

If you’re planning to use condoms as toy covers (always an excellent idea), make sure that yours are lubed with water-based lube, if pre-lubed, and not silicone lube. I recommend HUGE brand toy covers.

Also, remember to take out the bullet vibe before cleaning it, and keep the batteries out of the vibe and stored separately between uses for best results. Enjoy!