Taken by the Bandit

Top / Front of the Caramel Bandit

Or shall I say that I’m thoroughly taken with the Bandit? I suppose it’s all a semantics game, anyway. The Bandit may have taken me, but I am left taken by him. Mmmm.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I figured I should tell you from the get-go that this isn’t a hot Western erotica. It’s a hot, erotic review of a dildo. Filled with pictures of said-dildo. Read on at your own risk.

If you’ve read any of my previous reviews, you’ll see that I have a penchant for anthropomorphizing my sex toys. I don’t usually name them, though sometimes they arrive with names or just seem to scream a name at me. I mean, who am I to ignore that? And they usually end up with pronouns like “he” or “she” … Maybe it’s because they feel more intimate to me than “it.” I don’t know. I’ve commented before that Freud would have a field day with me, but that’s beside the point. (Also, I need to brush-up on my gender-neutral pronouns. Definitely.) Am I objectifying men by referring to my body-less cock-shaped dildo as a he? I don’t think so. I’m merely anthropomorphizing my toy. Deal with it.

What were we talking about? Oh, yes. The Bandit. The Bandit is the third model released in the VixSkin line by Vixen Creations. It’s a realistic dildo that will take your breath away at 7 inches by 1 5/8 inches.

When it first arrived, and I held it (still in its plastic packaging) in my hand, I gasped. It wiggled in my hand and seemed to squirm. It’s as if I could feel it getting harder just for me. How hot is that?

The Bandit comes in Chocolate, Caramel and Vanilla. Vixen Creations refers to them as colors, but I like referring to them as flavors. Yep. They sent me the Caramel Bandit, and the realism of the color-lot adds to the magnificence of this dildo.

It has a flat base, and what Vixen Creations touts as “slightly smaller, realistic balls” so the Bandit will stand up by himself (like any proud cock at attention), and also work with most harnesses for strap-on play. I love that he arcs ever-so-gently and wasn’t designed to be stick straight. His curve is luscious, and I adore the detailing of the veins and even the wrinkles over the ball sack.

I know, I know, sometimes you just want a toy to be a toy. But sometimes, you want something more. The Bandit is for those times that you want something more. I can set the Bandit down on a flat surface, like a tile floor or desk or table, and mount him. He stays put, and I can ride the Bandit into the sunset till I’m cumming over him like there’s no tomorrow.

Have I mentioned how your glistening juices (or your partner’s) will accentuate the fine craftsmanship and make the Bandit look and feel even more realistic? Hot damn. During one of my sexxions, I got lost in a reverie, and almost forgot that this is a toy. True story. And ladies & gents, that like never happens to me.

Case-in-point:
Grand total of toys that made me forget they were toys? One. And it’s all the Bandit, lovelies.
Grand total of toys that remind me that they’re toys (usually during inopportune moments like right as I’m about to cum)? Hundreds.
So there you have that. For what it’s worth, of course.

Honestly, before the Caramel Bandit took me (pussy, heart & all), I never found those “realistic” dildos attractive. They seemed cheesy and obscene… almost a mockery of the true beauty of the human form. Go ahead, call me a purist. As an aesthete (see my post on Hard Wood for more on this aspect of my sexuality), I have my standards, but when something well-made shows up before me, I find myself captivated.

The Bandit has captivated me, if that wasn’t already obvious. This dildo by Vixen Creations has a solid inner core that is firm and hard, making strap-on play a valid option, as well as any other type of fucking you might like to engage in with this sexy Bandit. It’s not going to flop over on you. Quite the opposite.

Personally, the Bandit isn’t my first choice for strap-on play when there are toys like the Feeldoe out there that give you much better driving control. But as a dildo? It’s love.

Bottom / Back of the Caramel Bandit

I have to give the designers of this hand-crafted toy kudos. They struck what seems to be a perfect balance between form and function, soft and hard, realistic cock and fucktoy.

The Bandit is far from unapproachable. He’s not so hard that he’s going to hurt you or push you away before you even get started. Instead, you’ll be tempted to jump into bed with the Bandit and see what he really has to offer.

The “flesh” of the Bandit is comprised of 100% premium silicone, the best of the best. This leaves the Bandit soft and supple to touch, and he’ll warm to your body temperature, as well as retain body heat. He’s fleshy, too, and has some give to him. An attribute you really notice when your pussy is clamping down on the Bandit, your PC muscles working overtime because this baby responds!

Care & Feeding: Please, please don’t use silicone lube with the Bandit. Stick with water-based lubricant for best performance and to keep your toy safe! (Fyi, that also means if you use condoms as toy covers for easy clean-up, you need to make sure your condoms aren’t
pre-lubed with silicone lubricant.)

Since the Bandit is 100% non-porous (hooray!), he’s safe for sharing as long as you sterilize him completely. You can sterilize the Bandit by boiling for three minutes. Of course, you can also clean him with soap and warm water. To help the Bandit keep his happy shape, store him upright! He’s a sensitive lover. Hee.

Bonus-feature? When you buy a product like the Bandit from Vixen Creations, Inc. it comes with a lifetime warranty, and as long as you hold onto your purchase receipt, they will issue a replacement if it happens to break or tear. Quality company. Quality customer service.

If you pick up a Bandit, let me know how you like him!

Disclaimer: This product was provided free-of-charge by Vixen Creations, Inc. for the purpose of unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the guidelines set forth by the FTC.