Coming Out & Invisible Illness

In the last years, there’s been a huge increase of awareness of those with sexual identity and/or orientation labels that don’t fit so neatly into the heteronormative paradigm. There are support groups on “coming out,” and quotations to inspire you along your journey, as well as countless blogs and books and articles written on the subject.

If we can give our brothers and sisters love and support in claiming their identity and naming their desires in a sexual-sense, in a life-sense, why can’t we also give support to those struggling with Invisible Illness to come out where it’s concerned?

Yes, this is primarily a blog about sexuality. But we don’t have our unique sexualities without the rest of our lives. Sexuality and sex isn’t something tidy that can be compartmentalized and stored in boxes on the top shelf of your closet, only to be taken out and opened when it’s convenient. (I mean, you can try that route, but I don’t recommend it. It’s not easy, and it’s not sustainable, and I don’t believe it’s remotely healthy.)

The more time you spend around me and my words, the more you’ll hear me say, “Life has a wicked & altogether annoying way of getting in the way of Life.”

I believe that’s true. I think it’s true when it comes to sexuality. Expression. Creativity. Orientation. Passion. Pleasure. And yep, you guessed it, Invisible Illness.

There are those who say that we’re not who we are without the aggregate of our experiences. Without my Invisible Illness, maybe my passion for sexuality wouldn’t be as strong. Without it, maybe I wouldn’t be called to spill my thoughts and desires onto paper as intently. Without it, maybe I wouldn’t even be recognizable as me.

In any case, if you are living with Invisible Illness, I extend my heart and my hands to you. It’s okay to come out. It’s okay to talk about that stuff that everyone else says it isn’t okay to talk about. (If they’re not living it, chances are they don’t even understand the implications of what they say to you on the subject.) It’s okay to give breath to the pain inside of you, and air it out among the stars. You’re not alone.

And when you’re ready, coming out may be just the thing to help you find those extra reasons to celebrate, to embrace what is Light and good and enjoyable, to cry when you need to, and to know that your Invisible Illness does not make you less of who you are. It doesn’t have the power to steal your hopes and joys. You don’t have to give it that power.

In solidarity. In truth. In respect.