Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee: A Little Too Soft, A Little Too Junior

By a. eve · 6046141427 Comments2011-01-12+05%3A26%3A47a.+eve · In Reviews

The Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee by Pipedream is one of the most innocuous-looking sex toys I’ve ever held. It’s soft and squishy, especially around the gently-curved head, but there is also air-cushioning between the outer material and the firm, inner shaft of the toy.

I don’t necessarily hold anything against innocence, but where the Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee is concerned, I’m just not feeling it. At all.

It has the odor of cheap plastic, and the odor doesn’t dissipate one bit with cleaning, no matter how vigorous. It’s made out of PVC, which is porous, and tends to harbor bacteria since there is no way to sterilize it completely. The vibration (at the highest setting of the turn-dial) is so weak that it’s silent when set on carpeting. If I turn it on full-blast and set it on the arm of my couch (for example), it takes it well over a minute to vibrate itself off the edge. If it were stronger, it would wiggle around more and fall down faster (at least that’s one theory).

The package advertises “mind-blowing thrills in or out of the water,” but I didn’t run into any mind-blowing thrills, no matter where I toted it. I was only slightly bummed, however, as I quickly discovered the height of its capabilities in the first moments of holding it and turning it on. Lowering it to my clit, or inserting it in my pussy didn’t change its potential.

There is a common debate in the sex industry about the purpose or place of quote-on-quote beginner’s toys. Some are of the opinion that a “beginner’s” toy is just a toy that’s sub-standard, and that its lack of quality or lack of power or lack of ability to do anything wow-worthy leaves it dubbed such. However, others are of the opinion that where one’s first sex toy is concerned, it’s a positive to not be intimidated by power or girth or an especially phallic-shape. Especially long or thick toys might be considered advanced in such a paradigm, and there’s some idea running around out there that if newbies are (*gasp*) intimidated by their first toy experience, they’ll run away and never look back.

Over the years, I’ve flip-flopped between these two stances, but am now firmly of the opinion that you either have a quality toy or not. And I, for one, don’t feel comfortable sticking beginners with the seconds. The Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee is just that: a second. Now, sometimes seconds can hold some promise, like the cheesecakes Eli’s puts on sale in their factory store because they’re just not up to par aesthetically.

The Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee isn’t a bakery delight, though. And, this isn’t a question of aesthetics. It’s about function, and this vibe lacks the capability to make me cum. It lacks the capability to tease me, just a little. The Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee may have once held promise in design, or theory, but unless you can barely handle the graze of a finger against your flesh (and in that case, I have no idea why you’d even be in the market for sex toys), this compact vibe is almost guaranteed to be a waste of your time (and orgasmic potential).

If you happen to like gentle (as in barely-there) vibration, you may want to check the out the Neon Jr. G-Spot Softee. Alternatively, take a gander at an assortment of more promising Vibrators & Sex Toys.

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Disclaimer: This product was provided free-of-charge for the purpose of unbiased review by SexToy.com. This review is in compliance with guidelines set forth by the FTC.

About The Author

a. eve

Pansexual sensate aesthete. Proponent of resources and eduction to help us each live our best lives. Kinky, quirky, sex-obsessed, sex toy-obsessed, sexpos critical theory slut with a passion for writing & def an acquired taste. Interests: The loveliness of everything being lovely. Wearing stars in the night sky. Buddhism. Critical Theory. Embodiment. Authentic Connection. Preparing happy, humming food. Baking bread from scratch. Thunderstorms. Storytelling. Sharing. Old typewriters. Dangly earrings.

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